Hope You'll Return: Swine'n Dreamin'

In America,

• I want to win a state song contest with a song in Spanish and English.
• I want to go to proms.
• I want to go to pep rallies and homecomings, to school parks and confraternities;
• I want to worship to sing, maybe I'll be a leader of some sorts.

There are more dreams, but something has come up.

Knowing that swine flu has now reached Puerto Rico raises bars on my eyes. Knowing that death(s) are now confirmed wants me to take my hopes off. Knowing that there are 686 cases in Maryland up-to-writing? Lord, we have problems...

This is just a reminder that Christ is coming. As a believer, I have a hard time choosing between YEAH!!! WELCOME BACK!!! or NO!!! NOW, I'LL NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING!! This tells me: will I be able to acomplish anyone of my goals?

Praying, I told God about this. He already knows my dreams, so I'll skip that part. I came to the moment of surrender. Will I want to give up all my dreams, singing, leading, studying, realizing that at every moment God will want to come pick up a holy, clean, special church?

No. I told Him No. Then the guilt-o-meter clicked in. I thought that I had denied Christ by saying no. I thought that you can't say "No" to God, or He'll smite you with a lightning bolt. Not that I denied Him; I wasn't ready to give up all my dreams. I am not yet.
But it shed some light for me:

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Phillipians 4:13)

God lets us dream, even though we have our personal mountains, flus, death, even financial crisis. God knows, mind you, that He has known us since before our mothers' wombs (Jeremiah 1:5), and being the most important part of the creation, we also have the privilege to dream with Him, about Him and for Him.

That "no" to surrender my dreams for Him, I have already done it with recognizing Jesus as my God. All of our dreams are His, and He knows what to do.
So I CAN be a normal, human being. Where time is running out, He glorifies and gives me time enough to pick up all my dreams.

Thank You, Adonai, for my repentance became Your beginning.