New Year, New Hope

As I look back to 2009, I wonder how unusual, personally, this year has been for me. More than moving to America, I’ve stepped out of the “comfort” of my background and decided to showcase my love for God and passion for writing to strangers from around the world. This, however, somewhat failed when I tried to do a blog last year, but as God is good, He has given me the tools for success.

I also raised a degree of self-consciousness worthy of scoffing and mundane reason. More have I not doubted, repented, anguished, or at least reminisced than this year. In America as in Puerto Rico, I am blessed of having the God of Hosts on my side, my family who loves me, and my friends who support me. It is not the only thing to look for, as it is the last day of the decade! Seeing death, restoration, salvation, fear, proclamation, innovation, saturation and the craziest things in my life gave a clear-cut perspective for what to sing in love.

Whosoever told that the “point of no return” is here is certainly on the right path. (Or at least on the right passage…) Time goes on, yet we cannot return back. Life will go on, Jesus will return, all will end… Hardships flowing in my own Puerto Rico have not been easy, and I still get frustrated and annoyed when death or political turmoil attests against our image. However, it has become such a possibility for us to return back, but I’m not willing… (Lord, make me willing to follow You…) I love my family, but I can’t hold back, and I love it here in America. I do not know how the year will greet us. (Strangely, I’m still reluctant to go, but I MISS MY FAMILY!)

I still find a hope that New Year’s Eve brings, along with the holidays. The old is done, all is made new! The same Gregorian cycle, however, keeps rolling the same way. There is still hope, the one I had to see my father again, the one I had to be washed away with blood and water, the one I had to grow and be here in America, to write and sing and worship and lead… And I’m still a minor!

I do not know what the next decate will bring (I know that a blue moon’s up and running!) but God will still bless, clean, save, hope, pray, praise and return. I love serving God, and this new year can’t become more newer than ever!

Feliz Año Nuevo 2010

Happy New Year 2010

The Most High

The Boil in My Head

I have been struggling with a boil on the back of my head for a week now. It’s becoming more painful, and I can’t take it out. I told someone it was a stress mark (or I thought it was that or the former); proves that I was wrong, it is a boil. (I have nothing personal against Susan Boyle; she has a tremendous voice, and who doesn’t love comebacks!?) Such disconcert makes me guilty, more than I am for my past sins (if I ever sinned with the declaration), but it does make it more painful to bear.

I woke up way early when my sister told me that the boil was growing bigger. Of course, she wouldn’t resist the temptation to touch it. The worst point is, did I actually sin sometime? Yes, but is this punishment? (though I take a skeptical view of karma?) What I do know is that sickness and death came as result of punishment. And thus…

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. (1 Peter 2:21, NIV)

I found this verse in a MySpace app on my profile. (Perfect…) I know that the context means of servitude and suffering and submission for slaves… but what does it have to do with a boil in my head!? Look, I don’t want to creep you out, but it’s growing every stinking’ day, and I can’t turn my neck without pain and I can’t take off from it…

Maybe this is what God called me. If we haven’t even been close to the point of shedding our own blood (Hebrews 12:4), this small suffering should be overlooked for the greater things in life… er… eternity, so shall I speak. Mind you, please notice that I’m also struggling with many other things not as relevant to mention, but enduring one more day without actually leaving the house(this is a reference to the snow storm in Maryland) and get a doctor and open it up will get me mad!

Then again, what if His will is for me to trust in Him? Just that: “I will get the boil out for you, but I want you to trust on ME for health, for ME on your classes, for ME for peace…” (I have been getting stressed out, and these boils pop out of nowhere.) I do not know when this boil will pop out (if it pops out), but something I know: I delight in my weaknesses, even if boils don't count.

Look, the sun is coming up!...

We're Beggars.

Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." (Luke 9:58, NIV)

I see this verse on a crazy time in my life. Now that Christmastime has arrived, it is also prudent to be open that I do not know where the rest of my life is headed. “In Christ”, of course, will be the first and logical answer (and the perfect clause to add), but there is a truth evident: we’re beggars.

Whatever happened since June must’ve been God’s job. The truth of the matter is, we don’t know where we will sleep next. This transition, this big leap across the pond, has changed our lives in an unorthodox, but magnificent way. Tension still remains, for we do not know if we will stay in Maryland, or leave to Florida, or even turn back to Puerto Rico.

Allow me to evaluate: I am willing to stay in Maryland for a while, but I want to finish high school. My dad has been crazy ever since we got here to go back there (I don’t blame him; he’s comfortable), and I am tied to whatever decision he and Mami takes. My sister and I are still reluctant to go back, if the point of this change is to… well, change! But what if we do leave and I have to restart high school somewhere in the country, or somewhere back in my country?

The question remains: If I leave Maryland to turn back to Puerto Rico or to Florida or anywhere, what would I do? Isn’t it the Lord’s job to send us, as He was sent by His own Father to earth, as He did on that manger? On the cross? On the temple? Truth is, the immortal Son of Man was delivered on this transient world for the freedom He already has. Everything He touched was mortal: skin, man-made temples, the sea, cloth, even He was buried on a “loaned” grave! Such human place for an immortal… is this love?

Whereas we pack our bags tomorrow and leave, amidst all the reluctance, this should be the prayer in my heart: “Be it Your will, Son of Man, that I take at every place I go.”

As White As Snow...

How unknowledgeable of my part! Christmas is here, and we should celebrate it will all poise it deserves. More than a celebration of love, charity, family, and beauty, we know that there is more than a holiday season: the birth of the King of Kings.

"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD."Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18, NIV)

One of the things that pop out of my mind when I hear “winter” will always be “snow”. Who am I talking to, if I only saw snow when I came to Maryland!? It’s one thing to enjoy the company of family (my uncle loves it being with us) in such a marvelous time, another thing is spending the holidays outside of my country for the first time. I’ll live, if I last to New Year!

When snow was announced to fall on the first days of December, I was ecstatic! I have never, ever seen snow! I’ve gotten used to the cold temperatures a bit, but… snow!? (I can tell you the date, but it’s not relevant at this time.) “Snow” was but a mere dream back in Puerto Rico, only when the mayor of San Juan (the capital of the island) went and picked up snow for the children. Such nice act, but I knew I was going to see snow, real snow!

I prayed about this the day before with all my faith. The next day, I went to the computer as usual, and I checked weather websites for some info, but I prayed again. I kept on my normal fashion, until my parents and my uncle notice snow. When I came to the apartment window to get a glimpse, I saw small flakes of snow falling down the ground. With this, I knew that He loved me, as such on my second “snow-prayer”.

If God promised the Israelites, as sinful and ravaging that He will blanket them with grace –if they repented, of course-, why can’t He do the same thing to us? Whereas I may be inconsistent on this, white still has a big predominance, so pure and crystalline. As much that God has given me to live (and what I can’t handle!), snow should be the first reminder when things go wrong.

I got a cold after that, silly of mine, but I must’ve got something etched out…

ChristYork!

Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ... (Phillipians 3:19,20, NIV)

"Tiger Woods... Oh, My!"

This is one brief expression with the whole Tiger Woods drama.  It's also the same expresion of the pains of bureaucracy, racism, entertainment, and life.  In a world where Homer v. Plessy is more than glorified unconsciously into life, blasphemy is known (bad experience at school!) and indiference tips off our bones, I think that we Christians only have one thing to do: pack up our backs and move to ChristYork.  Not New York, ChristYork, a city totally made for Christians, by Christians, from Christians. 

 

Here's how I view this city: it's located on the other side of the Hudson River in New York State. (Picked that place 'cause NYC is the "crossroads of the world!")  We drive out unbelievers out of the place, like God commanded Joshua and Israel in Canaan, and we establish a city with the flag of His blood.  We then make a big worship service and declare ourselves independent from the rest of the world, although we still make people "escape" to this Christian haven.  Everyone who's a Christian and holy will be in there!  Our mayor will be a Chrisitian (denominations will rotate), all councillors will be Christian (a spot per denomination) and politics will be based on God and what's best for the citizens.

 

Do you know about Times Square?  Not in ChristYork, for there is a Jesus Square, wherer we will hear Jesus' name be praised 24/7, 365.  (Jesus will love the place!)  Christian radio, no alcohol, the "city that never stops worshipping"... unlike the pagan New York, ChristYork will strive for our Savior!  Unbelievers can visit the city, yes, but they can only be for a week, so they don't "pollute" the holiness of the city.  If we're successful, ChristYork can make extensions around the world, in London (ChristDon), Tokyo (ChristTokyo) and Christ Church (Christ Church!... though there's not much of a difference!).  Of course, our url will be www.christchurch.<3Jesus.com! So full of Jesus!  So full of God!  And do you know the best part out of everything?  Do you really want to know? 

 

It's... not gonna work.  Really!  For if this world is extremely flawed as it is, what promises you that ChristYork in the other side of New York City would even work from the get-go, if not destroy itself before fifty years?  We are sinners, and sin will ever follow us.  Sin is worse than swine flu, and it ticks off a bigger hell!  What about those who get tired of hearing "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" all day long?  They'll pack up for another city!  And what does not promise you that there will not be "Christian ghettos" in the same city? (e.g.: Pentecostals in one place, Catholics in another, Baptists in other place, Adventists further)  The list of flaws will go on, but this will not happen on God's green earth... until Jesus comes to make things straight.

 

With many things happening in my life that I struggle with, I was thinking today about this "imaginary city".  What illusions can we put ourselves into creating our own ChristYork, a terrestrial haven for everyone and other Christians while escaping this world?  This can be a great idea, but the concept of mere utopia is not here.  I draw the example of ChristYork to see how much do we really want to "avoid the world", but what about shining in it?  This, my friends, is the tough part.  How willing are we (youth mostly) to stop fantasizing about an eartly heaven, and realize that God's purpose is to know His love to everyone?  We know that we are already sealed for Heaven, yet our Savior will not return from a ChristYork... He will return from the Heavens, awaiting us in love. 

To Overcome

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NLT)

I am a conservative, but not as much in certain issues. When it comes of seeing long-time friends in MySpace, it is a different ordeal. Sometimes, I have to try to hold back and resist and desist from putting down a friend. (These moments fill my mind with unlimited “forgive me’s”.) Whereas I may feel shocked while seeing how they’re doing, it still surprises me to see them what they’re wearing, how they act, what they have…

Call me whatever you want (“alarmist” is preferred, thank you), but this is why I write about overcoming. As much as I must learn to overcome faults and difficulties, I also must overcome myself for Jesus. Another experience I bring: I’m still struggling in Musicianship. I have complained about my stunning obligation to fix (using the verbs have, must, etc., those obviously referencing to any complete self-force), and I’ve thought how I’d measure up over them. Most of them are in the school choir, others play the piano or other things. (Some even vie for Music majors at college!) In the midst of all this talent, should I care? Yes, but to overcome, not to strenuously despair and crumble as of habit.

None more than insecurities are portrayed. It seems that I may need to overcome myself, overcome my classes, overcome in my life, and overcome with Jesus. He overcame sin, He overcame life, and He overcame death! Overcoming what we know in life will take extra work, drawing out our sins and fighting for our lives will only be possible by Jesus.

In Sickness and in Health

A man's spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? (Proverbs 18:14, NIV)

Nothing is more annoying that an impromptu cold ascribed by the carelessness of the first winter snowstorm. Ah! How much I have to battle with a runny nose, a wad of generic Robitussin cold medicine that is an abominal abortion of cherry flavor, and saline-concentrated nose “uncloggers”. How uncomfortable it feels to walk with pajamas all day, thermals, a small tissue towel by my side, and walking with socks! (Did I have to use this in Puerto Rico? Maybe some stuff, but not the thermals, all right!)

Alas, ‘tis the woes of winter. At least God has sustained me in my sickness, as much as He will do in health. As much as I can complain and whine about being sick, God still gives me grace and forgiveness to deal with it. (I hope to be better, thank you.) Another thing I cling my hope on is at Jesus during the times I feel spiritually “sick” and kind of “bleh” in my life.

If you mean by “life”, I mean “spiritual” and “normal” life. Call it as you are, but there are times where we bag ourselves in pure-bred sick and icky until we can’t take it anymore. (This is an obvious reference to sin.) We get colds, flu’s, even that thing from swine we can’t name anymore! Overall, God still is working us out in our hearts, yet we do not know how true and certain this statement is.

Overall, how true is God working when we are really sick? I just have a cold. We were, in a deeper sense, sick back out there (needing to avoid euphemisms), called out by God to heal us and change us into what we are now. We still get dirty, as long as we keep fighting the good fight of faith, and He still nurses us back to health. Even if it is every day. Because we always sin every day, it is to say that we need to be checked up every day. Jesus never hesitates to do the job.

He Who Lifts Me Up

But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. (Psalm 3:3, NIV)

In this point in my life, I should’ve expected more of myself, especially when it comes to talking to people. I will not tell you what happened, yet said snafu held an absurd, complex, connection with Kleenex, runny noses and tampons. Oh, the last word still rings me apart! It is, moreover, that I do not know as of yet to handle my jokes. What a good servant, what a faithful Christian!

In other questions of abhorrent stupidity, I also have to prepare soon to make-up for an SAT test soon, for the first time, and another work. I also feel frustrations in Music class, and I’m having the common cold. It is NOT a great way to start winter! Be it that I still must face stupid decisions for my many sins, or just that I’m depressed for my own shortcomings in life, God is so gracious to let me repent and start over.

Letting go is the hard part, looking up and answering my call as part of the Redeemed of Christ. It is many a day where I still look heads-down when I walk. Maybe it’s still time for me to learn. It’s also hard to appear with a straight-up countenance of happy when you’re bogged down to death (sometimes literally), but God still shows His love to us. He still lifts us up in grace, He still takes down all of our sins and troubles, and He will throw it to the sea. (How much I need encouragement!) He still roots for us in Heaven, and in the deeper of our hearts.

No One Else Like You

I don't know why I like music...

José E.

What's New?

Allow me to make-up for my lost time.

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2:11, NIV)

Oh, what a pessimist!  Whoever the Teacher is, he really has a jacked-up view of life.  He thinks that everything is meaningless, that everything is vain, that all work is vain... Then what is life, if under the sun?  This book is kinda tricky, because, if not careful, can deviate from up until most of the things the Bible knows.  To further explain this, allow me again to write about New Moon, the newest vampire movie.

I went to see New Moon with my sister and my uncle (he beautifully bought the tickets at Fandango.com) the premiere date.  There were many activities, and a current surge in the school library for a New Moon calendar.  My sister lobbied for me to ace the quizzes (I did, but I only received candy and a Doritos).  My sister, as stoked as she was, even brought a vampire t-shirt! (not the flagship movie!)  With the date (and I missed Christian Club, lame, I know) on hand, we saw the movie with a few hundred more.

If you are reading this, you may be rolling your pretty eyes right now and scoffing, "sparkling vampires!?".  I GET IT!  You are surprised that this move has even made the annals of history.  That, however, is not the point!  There were many movies of that right now, such as Dracula, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Dracula 2000, Queen of the Damned, etc., even if vampires didn't sparkle you to death.  And look at American Werewolf in Paris even if there wasn't a six-packed, half-Native American dude who only modeled in!  Look at retro, it's famous now!  Look at the cycle of water, it always goes with the near-same residence times!  Look at crazy people, they've been always in the olden years!  (By the way, don't give Twilightnites such a hard time!)

Going back, the Teacher (if it is Qohelet, we do not know; if it is Solomon, maybe, God only knows) would've think that rock music, punk rock, and Kathy Bates' rendition of Psycho or Madea's antics would've happened back in his time.  Under the sun, what is of worth?  What can become knew, if not in God only?  (And what can become of heavily pop-culture-referenced devotions?)  It all comes back, just like America's Next Top Model.  (Why I watched the show still remains a mystery.  I just liked the pictures...?) 

Is it even knew that there were "diaries" of some sort in the olden days?  Yet, is it better to know that God makes all things new.  For this is what Isaiah 48:6 says: "You have heard these things; look at them all.  Will you admit them?  From now on I will tell you of new things, of things unknown to you. (NIV)"

Leap-of-faith Editing

This is the first time in a while I directly write to Blogger, getting used to writing somewhere else in cyberspace, and then copying the blogs here. (I will tell this soon.) However, I'm taking a leap of faith, editing the blog for the first time since a month. I do not know how it will work, I just know that God is on my side, and He will help me as best as I can.

Like the mustard seed...?