Got Whine?: A Little Bit of Israel

Yes, I spoke to you about hope numerous times. I have realized many things that have given me confidence in my walk. That God knows me well, yes. That He knows I can be a plain boob at times, yes. That I have an attitude problem...

This is where I regret saying it, huh? But it's true! It's not that I'm an arrogant, self-centered, over-nationally-prideous (if that's the word), nasty-ish, know-it-all, holier-than-thou, Shrek-like mongrel or so. It's not that my pride goes in ways that even Satan won't budge to go. It's that... in a small corner... there's this still corner of negativity. That I try to brush it out, but I can't let it go.

My mother has rebuked me from this every time I say something with a negative connotation. It's a great test, knowing that I will fail every time. (See?) Go to church, pray, fast, read Bible... But it's deeper than that. It's a challenge thinking that I won't be perfect enough for God, and it's confusing! I have a little bit of Israel in me. (Yes, I'm a gentile!)
It's not racially; It's in the attitude. Take it here:

All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said
to them, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the LORD
bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and
children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to
Egypt?" And they said to each other, "We should choose a leader and go back to
Egypt." (Numbers 14:2-4)

Now, Israel were perfect whiners and grumblers. God gave them some shows of power: manna, water from rocks, quails until they hated it, and still... They wanted to go back. Why are we that way?

We can be so clingy and needy at times. Why people make themselves happy saying someone negative? And I HAVE TO KILL IT! Not shove it down deeper into my heart. With that, I will rely on God's grace. But knowing that I have more blessings than aches won't cut it! (See?) At least, His grace will cover me, and still, God will bless me anyways. He pleases that I recognize where I get an "F", and He'll do this for me. Moaning and grumbling won't help me please Him, so I'll (do my best to) slap on a smile of His love. (Wow, it really helped me!)

This is why I pray: "Cover where I fail."