Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. (1 Corinthians 1:20, 21, NIV)
There are things that I do not dare to do, not even in a million years. Like a tub full of tarantulas. Do not even think I will dare to do that! (Unless there was prize money involved or… Greedy! I mean, if someone needed to be saved from said tub full of tarantulas…) In another example, music goes to mind. What many things I’ve known to be worldly are those things that I like? Or are those things just illusions of a bigger thing God wants for me? Ugh! I asked God for freedom, but now I’m in a tumble…
Again, I repeat: God commands us to do things that are crazy for many people. And yet, where is the wise? Where is the fool? Where’s the simple idiot, per the fashion of Dumb and Dumberer? He picks those as a rebuke to those who think rule everything. Still… we must not be of too much self-esteem, which can reach the counsels of pride. I know that God will do everything in His power to fulfill and overcome what makes me feel weirdly uncomfortable…
What guides my life? What obstructs my path with Jesus? It is complicated. (At this point, ranting is what seems to be in my interest.) Right now, I feel like guilt is tormenting me. Apart from that, it can be any fear of complacency, of disapproval, of being solely a pawn that everybody can pick apart. I’m a fool… and yet, God chose me. I’m not a pawn of the devil (middle finger of grammar!) anymore, no albeit, no regret. What are the things that drag me down? I repent from them. For now, I have no idea how will life work. For now, I’ll just wait for the Wiser to tell me.
